What’s Occurring ~ Self-Confidence

November is here and that means: NaBloPoMo! I’ve committed myself to blogging everyday again, as I tried it last year and it turned out to be a very good exercise. Also, I figured this would be a great opportunity for some freestyle writing, which I don’t get to do very often.

Today, I thought I’d share a conversation I had with my work-out partner this week.

My friend is constantly putting herself down and I had to call her out on it. She seems to think that no man would possibly want her until she gets down to her ideal weight. So I asked her if she thought only slim women had men, to which she conceded no. If a guy seems interested in her, she tells herself that he shouldn’t be, because she’s overweight.

I told her that although she’s overweight, what she really needs is to get a little confidence in herself. She’s in her 50’s and has never been married, but she dresses well and certainly visits the hairstylist at least once per month. Plus, now she exercises a few times per week. I actually tell her how great she’s looking too, when she has a new hairstyle or has dressed really well. I have friends twice her size, I told her, and they flirt and go on dates all the time. She admits that she also has friends on the heavier side who are married with children, but this still has not nudged her self-confidence one bit.

We’ve had this conversation before. She has such low self-esteem that goes beyond her weight issue. She has a full social life away from work, but still struggles to believe that some people wish to befriend her. On a particular level, she considers herself “below” some of the high profile people at work, which kind of irks me, because I don’t think any of them is better than the rest of us.

It’s such a shame, because she is a nice person at heart. She has her flaws, but the person she sees in the mirror is in no way reflective of the person she is in reality.